People were not born to disappear anonymously like a grain of sand. They were born to left marks on the ground and to imprint in the hearts of others. The more I grow up, the more I understand that there is no way to reverse death. Death is the nature pain which will suddenly visit us one day. Nothing is more painful than to witness a death of a family member. I had never experienced such pain until July 19th, 2010: my grandfather passed away.
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In 2001, my grandfather was a victim of a lung cancer, and the doctors told him that he had, at maximum, ten months to live. I was only seven years old at the time and could not determine what was going on, but from what I was told, my family was flustered. To save my grandfatherâ€™s life, every member of the family fought through many obstacles. Even though he had to go through all the medicine and chemotherapy for almost ten years, my grandfather stayed strong until July 19th, 2010.
During the last summer of my grandfather’s life, I was not fortunate enough to spend more time with him; I worked every single day. Unmindful of what the future would bring, I think I wished and thought that my grandfather would be well and strong forever. Sadly, my grandfather’s health began to go downhill, and he had to go through various treatments to maintain his life, such as chemotherapy, surgery, radiation therapy, and targeted drug therapy. Even though my grandfather and all the doctors had tried their best, none of the treatments worked in my grandfather’s case. Soon enough, he could not eat or move as a normal person can; he had to helplessly attached to the hospital’s bed from day to day. His whole body was swollen, and his skin was not as rosy as before. Although he was in much pain, he would put a joyful smile on his pale face whenever someone came to visit him. I stood silently, watched the heartbroken scene, and cried unconsciously.
After three months long in the hospital, the doctors gave up, and my grandfather wanted to come home. He wanted to spend his last moment of life in the house which he lived in for almost seventeen years. I walked in my grandfather’s old room. The paint was worn-out and peeling off in spots; the room is clean, but I could hear to popping sound of the old wooden floor. I stood silently in front of the door, listened to the prayer from my grandmother and my uncles, and blended my prayer with others. The whole family prayed every day with the hope that my grandfather will go peacefully.
Finally, the unwanted day came. I remembered someone said that when people almost die, they will know the exact time they will go. I think my grandfather knew when he would go, so he told my grandmother to call every members of the family to come home and to invite the monk to perform the necessary rituals of Buddhist. I was considered as a kid, so I did not have permission to stay in the room with my grandfather because the room was small and a lot of people were standing inside; however, I was standing outside and waited. My uncle told me to go somewhere else. My heart pounded to the beat of my feet racing over the wooden floor. I ran downstairs, and sat silently in the corner of the dark room in the basement. I thought of my grandfather, wanted to cry out loud, but I could not cry. Others told me not to cry to let my grandfather go in peace. I held my emotion inside of my broken heart; I tried, but I could not help myself. I cried. I lost control of myself that my body ceases to obey me. My voice jumps across the octaves, and my hands began to shake uncontrollably. My breaths are short and shallow. I felt as something was burning my head, nose, and eyes. I lied on the floor, sniffled as I hold back the tears, exhausted and dehydrated. I got my senses back and tried to control my emotions once again. I calm down and slowly walked upstairs. Everyone was busy praying for my grandfather. All the kids were sitting silently on the floor in the living room. I was tiptoeing, sat next to my cousins, and prayed. At 11:05pm, the monk came downstairs from my grandfather’s room and told us that my grandfather passed away in peace. The most silent atmosphere covered the house.
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After all the pain that my grandfather had to endure, he had the most enormous funeral ever. All of his friends and family from all over the country came to give him the last farewell. My grandfather’s funeral happened on the most beautiful day. The sun was brighter than ever, bounded into the sky quickly, and gave out thousands rays of sun. The sky was a brilliantly bright blue covered by a thin layer of clouds. My grandmother cried helplessly as soon as the funeral began. She could not control her emotions any longer. The funeral covered with the saddest mood. Everything was depressing; I could not describe the feeling. The entire despondent atmosphere directly influenced me from all the black and white clothes to the tears from all the family members. I tried to hold on to my tears until I glanced at my grandmother and saw the tears running out of her eyes. Suddenly, I could not hold my tears back any longer and just let it all out. At that moment, I realized I would never see my grandfather again, and this was the last time I would ever see his real body. My heart sank as I watched my grandfather slowly went into the cremator. He got burned in the cremator on the hottest day of the summer. I could not imagine the feeling of not having a grandfather. He passed away.
Everyone in life faces the death of a family member now and then. Most people do not want to accept the truth, but live always comes with death. Death does not mean the end of one’s life; perhaps my grandfather is living really well in the other world. I miss my grandfather and keep thinking about him constantly, but I know he wanted me to live happily and successfully, so he can proud to have a granddaughter like me.
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